


Ancient History

by Malteser24



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Book 5: City of Lost Souls, Cheating, During City of Lost Souls, F/M, Infidelity, M/M, Magnus is Reflecting, Multi, Not from Magnus or Alec so it's okay, Other, Referenced Multi Relationship, Sexual Themes, Slight Spoilers for City of Lost Souls, Vampires, past relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-14
Updated: 2015-10-14
Packaged: 2018-04-26 07:26:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4995574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malteser24/pseuds/Malteser24
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'I know, I know who you really are. You know, you know how to break my heart.'</p>
<p>Magnus reflects on his past with Camille, and wonders how much of an impact he's going to have on her life now that she's squirmed her way back in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ancient History

**Author's Note:**

> Set during COLS: I've played around with some of the details - such as the two of them staying at Magnus', and Alec interrogating Camille - because it's been a while since I read the book, and I wanted those events in this so it makes more sense.
> 
> There are two main relationships - Magnus/Alec and Magnus/Camille. All the deal with Jem, Will and Tessa is referenced. 
> 
> Thanks to Volcarona_Flame and my bae Hannah for helping me with this. Love you guys! x

 

* * *

The only light in the room is coming from the bare window, the moonlight passing through crystal clear glass and landing on the deep purple carpet, the bed covers currently matching the midnight sky outside, only without the distraction of bright lights from the city that never sleeps. The atmosphere is soft and quiet, sleepy and peaceful.

Only Magnus, much like his favoured city, isn't asleep, and he certainly isn't at peace.

His fingers are gently stroking Alec's torso, his arm wound tight around the shadowhunter's body, his lips inches from the younger's neck. Alec is sleeping tranquilly, his breath coming out in low snores, exhausted from a long day of Clave meetings and vampire interrogations. His mind is likely drifting in the land of dreams, a faraway place Magnus only wishes he could visit.

Because Magnus' thoughts are stuck on one thing, or more importantly, one person.

_Camille._

He's worried abut what she might have said to Alec, but more than that he's worried about what she wants from  _him_.

Magnus knows that she wants him back, wants to  _own_  him again - she wants a  _pet_ , and he doesn't want to be that anymore, doesn't want to go through that again. He has a better relationship now, a healthy relationship with someone who actually loves him back. Not someone who pretends that they do and then scurries off to Saint Petersburg to copulate with a human, only to come back, lie about it, and still expect his love and loyalty.

_"Can I kiss him?"_ She had asked, about Will - poor, sweet Will, who was not only unconscious, but tortured by his own demons, by an imaginary curse he'd let rule his life, and torn by the way he felt for both dear loves of his life. She'd barely returned from her exploits of infidelity, only to request a kiss from a beautiful shadowhunter  _right in front of him._

She had called Magnus a child, because he felt hurt, because  _she'd_ had the nerve to cheat on him and  _he'd_ dared to expect better of her.

He  _had_ loved her, somehow, foolishly. He had swept her treason under the rug, pretended it hadn't existed because he couldn't bear to face the truth. And it had all come back to burn him, to break his heart until it took him  _centuries_ to properly open it up again. Etta had been wonderful, he'd adored her, loved her...perhaps more than he had Camille. But she was human, and he'd always known it would end, there had always been that nagging reminder in the back of his mind.

But with Alec...with Alec he'd let it all go, let his fears and past escape, so he could properly love, could give his everything to Alec, the way Alec so greatly deserved.

He just wished he could get rid of Camille, forever.

* * *

_Chemistry flooding their veins, endorphins and an emotion that could be love, maybe, or maybe not - everything overpowered by heated lust and animalistic_ need.  _They can't deny it, Camille wouldn't bother, she's too selfish for that. But Magnus_ can't _, truthfully he doesn't_ want to _. It's wrong, it's_ oh so wrong.  _They shouldn't keep doing this - Magnus knows Camille doesn't love him, if he thought about it he'd truly realise it; hell, even_ Woolsey _has worked it out. But_ he  _loves her...and if nothing else, being with her is_ safe.

"Magnus,"  _She moans, her blood-red lips parting as her breath escapes, and Magnus just keeps kissing her, down her soft neck, along her sharp jaw, across the edges of her jutting collarbone. He focuses on the feel of her supple, ghostly skin underneath his lips, pushes away the voice telling him to_ stop.

_He knows how to drive her wild, how to make her feel dizzy and high, how to make her really_ want him.

_Because if she_ wants him _, she won't_ leave him.

* * *

When he thinks back on it, Magnus probably loved Will more than Camille loved him.

Even if it was never romantic, Magnus cared for Will, almost as he would a brother. He felt pity for the boy, who'd seen such awful horrors, who'd tortured himself with even more. Who'd fallen in love with his dying _parabatai_ , because loving him wouldn't kill Jem any faster. Who'd fallen for the beautiful girl with a love for books as passionate as his own, who stood up for herself, who stood up  _against_ him. She fought back, but managed to maintain her grace, her class, and she didn't let Will hurt himself, because she too had fallen for him.

Magnus loves Tessa too, sees her as more than just a long-time friend, but as his family.

Perhaps that's why he stayed with Camille for so long - because he was envious of the unusual love shared between the three of them, between Jem, Will and Tessa equally. Because he'd never seen three people so young, love each other so much, care enough to cross borders, to face eternal loneliness to protect the ones they loved. Tessa was willing to  _marry herself off to a monster_ to keep Jem and Will safe.

Camille wasn't even willing to conjure up a proper, believable lie.

* * *

_Magnus' head is fuzzy when he walks into the bedroom that is technically his, although they share t_ _he bed most nights. He's been drinking, more than he should, and his mind is unclear, unfocused, he can't think straight...he's not really thinking at all._

_Camille looks up, her piercing crystal eyes locking onto him. A smirk spreads, a deadly smile, and rightfully that should make Magnus wary, should nudge him back out the door and into one of the spare rooms. But he aches for her touch, any touch. He yearns to feel loved, to feel anything. The previous night, she wasn't there, and he'd been haunted by nightmares, of water and screams and hatred, of anger and betrayal and loneliness._

_He knows the fun and games won't last. He's playing with fire, and when messing around with the heat one's always bound to get burnt. The same applies when it comes to Camille._

_But then again...what's the point in attempting to patch up a sinking ship?_

* * *

Magnus wants to keep Alec concealed in a bubble, keep him hidden away from the world, keep him locked up in the Institute where he can't get hurt. He's eighteen, an adult, but he's so  _young_. Yes, Magnus has been around for aeons (practically) but Alec hasn't. Alec is sweet and innocent and way too kind for this big scary world they live in. Even though he faces demons daily, faces death with every breath he takes, Magnus doesn't want to let him out of his sight.

He's scared of losing Alec, he's so scared. At first, Magnus was scared of falling for him, for not only falling for a Shadowhunter, his first, but for falling in love so hard and so fast. But now, he's scared of losing Alec, of letting him out of his sight for a minute and then never getting him back.

He's scared that Camille will tell him twisted lies, and that Alec will believe her.

* * *

_Eyes like frozen daggers, a smile of razor teeth - all hidden behind a mask of elegance and sophistication, lustful words and devilish lips._

That's how Magnus would describe Camille, if anyone asked him.

He'd tell of how even despite all of that, she could capture a man's heart and trap it in her black widow's web of false love. How he often ached for her companionship, how he loved throwing her onto the bed with as much force as he wanted, because  _she liked it_ , and  _he did too._ How she would run his thoughts when she wasn't there, keeping him from sleep night in, and night out.

How even messing around with Woolsey wasn't enough to distract him from thoughts of her.

He'd warn them, anyone who was interested in her, that it's easy to get caught up in the lust, in the desire, the imaginary trust one  _thinks_ is there, but really isn't. How it took him too long to cut the cord attatching him to her.

"Magnus?"

Magnus looks down, and sees that Alec has twisted around, so he's facing his warlock. His cerulean eyes are wide and bright, there's concern and hints of fear dancing around, and Magnus wonders how he'd been so deep in thought that he hadn't noticed Alec waking.

"Yes, darling?"

Alec breathes in deep, he seems to be searching for something, words perhaps.

"Is something wrong?" He asks, his hand coming up to rest on Magnus' chest.

Magnus opens his mouth, fully prepared to say  _no_ , to reassure Alec and encourage him to go back to sleep. But he stops himself.

Because Alec deserves the truth. He deserves to be told what's rattling around in Magnus' mind, what's haunting him. He  _deserves_ to know.

"Nothing's wrong, as such...I was just thinking. Reflecting."

"On?"

Magnus sighs. He'd hoped Alec would drop it, but he really should have remembered. That wasn't the sort of thing his caring Shadowhunter would do.

"Me. Camille.  _Us_. Will, Jem and Tessa. I'm pretty sure even Woolsey snuck in there at one point."

He breathes out softly. "You."

Alec doesn't speak, just stares, so Magnus keeps talking.

"Seeing Camille today...it brought back memories. Fears. My past. All the things that have been haunting me from the day I met her. I thought about how different it was with her, compared to with us. How with her it was really all false. I almost can't believe I once thought I loved her, when with you...with you, Alexander, it all feels intense and real in the best possible way. I never doubt anything with you, whereas with her, I was always making excuses, always pretending. I was jealous of Jem and Tessa and Will, because I knew what they had was real and raw and I wanted that  _so badly_."

Alec's hand slides up to cup Magnus' cheek, and it just rests there, a physical reassurance for Magnus. It was his way of saying  _"I'm here, I'm real, I love you, it's okay" w_ ithout actually speaking the words.

"I was so foolish back then Alexander, I can't believe how stupid I was. I knew she was being unfaithful, I always did, and yet I always returned to her cold arms, because being with her felt safe. But it was a false security, I was lying to myself, just as she was lying to me."

Alec leans in, and kisses him, and Magnus kisses back - he can't resist the touch of Alec's lips on a good day, he can ignore it even less when he's raw and emotionally strained. The kiss is soft and gentle, lips sliding against lips slowly...they take their time because they can, because there is no reason for it to be fast and heated at this moment. It's a kiss of love and reassurance, and it's everything Magnus didn't know he needed.

"I love you," Alec whispers, and Magnus can see that there's more he wants to say, but he also thinks it can probably wait for the morning.

"I love you too." He replies.

Alec kisses him again, trailing his fingers down Magnus' neck, and shivers like sparks of magic race down his spine.

"Let's go to sleep, and we can discuss this more in the morning, okay?" Alec suggests, and Magnus can see no fault in the offer, so he nods.

He kisses Alec once more, simply because he can, and then he snuggles down into the covers, smiling softly as Alec rolls over, tugging Magnus' arm so it's wound around his torso once again. Magnus slides his fingers through Alec's, places a light kiss on his shoulder before closing his eyes, allowing himself to fall into a deep slumber without the burden of treacherous thoughts and memories.

Now, in the present, with Alec pressed up against him, impossibly close, is where Magnus thinks he really belongs.

He just needs to let go of his past, turn it into ancient history.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Eyes like frozen daggers, a smile of razor teeth - all hidden behind a mask of elegance and sophistication, lustful words and devilish lips - the words that started it all.
> 
> Title and Summary taken from 'Ancient History' by Set It Off.


End file.
